One Ugly “Calzone”

Let it show for the record that I in no way hold Chebe Gluten Free Bread responsible for the debacle I have created in my oven.

Let me set the scenario for you all…  Hubby has just walked in the door at 6:30 p.m. from usual gridlock commute from hell.  He’s hungry.  He does not want another Hot Pocket for dinner.  Crap.  Thing 1 and Thing 2 are eating an oh-so-nutritious dinner of bow tie pasta, butter, and Parmesan cheese.  Oh, and Kixx cereal.  Finally, at 7:15 p.m. I decide to cook something for myself.  I’ve been reading blog posts about good results with Chebe pizza crusts and decided to give it a whirl.

This is where it all began to fall apart.

The kids were completely off their rockers tonight and the screeching was beginning to pierce my (tiny) brain.  I think I must have read just part of the directions on the back of the package in between getting milk cups, a napkin, and a pickle (in no apparent order) for my family.

So I mixed up the ingredients for the pizza crust and happened to see that you can make calzones from this dough!!  I used to love, love,  love calzones, so I decided to make one for dinner.  It was only AFTER I put the calzone in the oven that I took the time to read ALL of the directions.  Apparently, I was supposed to separate the dough into four equal parts and make four calzones.

Um, I made one gigantoid calzone.  It was ugly and pretty much exploded in my oven.

I just had to take a picture to share because this, my friends, is the ugliest meal I’ve ever made.  What a train wreck…

On a positive note, the calzone was edible!  Albeit a bit chewy since the crust was like 12 inches thick, but after I sawed through it with my steak knife, it filled my tummy just fine.

Go ahead, laugh…you so know you want to!

If you’d like to check out some, ahem, successful Chebe creations, visit Sea at Book of Yum’s blog or Pete at No Gluten, No Problem.

11 Replies to “One Ugly “Calzone””

  1. I giggled *and* laughed! You rock!! That is one awesome gluten-free disaster (and I’ve made my share of them)!

    I’m glad it was still edible, some of my first time gluten-free recipe attempts have bypassed the trash can and gone straight out to the dumpster!

  2. Hi Maureen,

    I watched a couple of friends eat two Tombstone cheese pizzas (with hot sauce!) while having a gf beer on the patio last night. I thought I’d gotten pretty good at not coveting foods that will make me ill. But, no! I really wanted a slice of that lame pizza.

    Your mondo calzone looks great to me!

  3. I’ve never had 100% success in using the Chebe dough as calzones. They’ve always broken on me in the oven, with cheese and sauce oooooozing out. But they do taste good!

  4. Hi! Your gluton-free calzone looks yum! I’d love to make this for my husband. Where’s that pizza recipe you referred to? We are just starting out on the gluten-free highway and need all the help we can get.

    Thanks!

  5. For delicious Chebe pizza recipes, just click towards the bottom of this post on “Sea at Book of Yum” and “Pete at No Gluten, No Problem”. The links will take you to these gluten free bloggers and their pizza recipes 🙂

  6. There must be something about Chebe. I made a pizza with it once and didn’t have eggs. So I used powdered egg replacer. The crust looked okay, but didn’t cut so well. It basically turned it to the texture of a gummy bear. You could chew it forever! We named it the jello bottom pizza. We had to pull the toppings off and throw the bottom away.

  7. Oh – you made me laugh out loud. Reality is far more funny than anything else – especially about the kids and scrambling to fix something for the hubby! I love the fact you included a picture of your gluten free nightmare, because I fix them on a regular basis. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry!

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